Esther

It blows my mind that I left Kenya almost two months ago. I miss it more than I could ever explain. It's been hard.

Harder than I ever imagined. 

I want to be back and never leave. There is just something special about that orphanage and no place in the world can compare. It absolutely tears my heart apart each and every morning when I wake up and come to terms that 220+ children won't be downstairs to say, "Gooood morning, Shabbi! Let's go play!"

Before I left for Kenya, I knew coming back would be hard. I had seen Molly come back twice already and you could hear the longing in her voice when she would tell stories and know that she just wanted to be back. In order to prepare for that, I began to pray that God would comfort me and give me peace during the transition back to the real world. The Lord definitely heard my prayers. 

No, it wasn't perfect or easy or anything like that, but through continual prayer, I felt peace. Some days are easier than others, but I know that God doesn't want me in Kenya. Not right now, at least. 

He wants me in Auburn. 

My mission trip did not end in Kenya. No, it is still going on all around me. The world is my mission field. Every step I take and every person I speak to is all in part of God's divine and sovereign plan. He sent me to Kenya to impact not only the orphan's lives, but my own life as well. He took me away from this place which I fell so in love with because He wants me in Auburn. He knows this is where I will glorify Him best at this moment and at this point in time.

The Lord knows me better than I know myself and I have full confidence that on the day of Judgement, My King will come before and tell me that He placed me exactly where I needed to be.

Yes, I still long for Kenya. Yes, I want to go back. BUT GOD has me where I am and I can trust and rest on Him because I know that He wants me in Auburn now and because of the great love He has for me, I trust Him with everything I have.

The Lord is teaching me a lot right now, and I am so happy and excited about that, but yesterday, my heart was broken for another reason. 

I found out that one of the girls from the orphanage is very very sick. 

Esther has an immune deficiency disorder that makes it hard for her to fight off any infection. When she does get ill, it is very hard for her to recover. Please join me in praying for healing over Esther and for all of the other orphans during this time. 

I'm scared. 

I just want Esther to be okay. However, I know that The Lord has His hand over this situation and no matter what happens, I will glorify Him even more.

Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

-Hebrews 4:16

Esther

Goodbye

Last Day

Fiwagoh 

June 26, 2014

I knew that leaving would be hard, but I never expected this. Two weeks went by way too fast and I can't believe today is the day that I make my journey home. 

I have built everlasting friendships here and I pray that God will give me the opportunity to come back here. This orphanage is not like any other and it now holds a very special place in my heart. 

On Sunday we went to the market to buy souvenirs. We had to barter the prices and I was absolutely terrible at it, so Pastor Benson did all of the bartering for me. It was quite an experience. 

Monday night, we went out to dinner as a team to this restaurant with another unbelievable view. I took pictures, but they still don't do the scenery justice. 

After dinner, Pastor Benson shared his testimony and told us how Fiwagoh all started. When he and Florence got married, Pastor said he wanted to take in ONE orphan. 10 years later, they have made a home for 220 orphans. It was amazing to hear the story and see how God provided for them in every circumstance. Even when they thought everything was over, God was faithful and made a way for them to survive. 

On Monday I worked some more with the dentists. 11-year-old Maxwell was one of our patients. He had to get a tooth removed and was very scared. Tears streamed down his face and he squeezed my hand tightly only to come to the realization that the anesthesia made it not hurt at all! He was such a trooper and has also found a very special place in my heart.

That night, another orphanage, Haven of Hope, came to Fiwagoh to get their teeth cleaned and have supper with us. Most of the HOH kids are under 6 years old. I saw one boy standing alone so I picked him up and he gave me the biggest hug. He did not speak English so I had someone translate for us. This little boy, Chris, thought I was his sponsor, which I am not. I went along with it though because I don't speak Swahili and I couldn't break his heart. He was attached to me all night and gave me a hundred kisses before he left. 

We looked up at the sky and there were more stars than I have ever seen before. It was so beautiful and amazing and I don't think I'll ever see something like it again.

Tuesday and Wednesday was just spent loving on children. We went out to the field and I had girls play with my hair while another kid sat in my lap and we all watched the older kids play futball. We had a team member who was not a Christian, so we had all been praying for her these past two weeks. Emily and I decided to stop what we were doing and just pray for her salvation. A lot of times when we pray, we don't really believe that God will do what we're asking. In Africa, they pray with complete confidence and faith that He will do what they are asking of Him. We prayed to have that faith as well.

 We said Amen and anther team member slammed open our door and said, "Guess who just became a Christian?" Chills. Amazement. We asked for that faith, and God showed it to us. He answered our prayers and we now have a new sister in Christ! I cried, or course. I did a lot of crying yesterday because we are leaving today.

When we go, all 220 orphans will line up and we will hug every single one of them. 

They say home is where the heart is. I guess I have two homes now.

A Week to Remember

Fiwagoh

End of Week One

June 21, 2014

Fiwagoh is Seventh Day Adventist, so their Sabbath starts at sundown on Friday night and ends at sundown on Saturday night. During Sabbath, it is a complete day of rest. We don't do dishes, wash clothes, clean up, or lift a finger. We are suppose to just focus on loving one another and worshiping God. 

Church services at Fiwagoh last from about 9am-2pm on Saturdays. Yes, it is very long, but very wonderful. I sat by Bonniface, Jafari, Ian, Joseph, and several others as we all praised our Savior and heard sermons.

After the service, we went on a nature walk! Fiwagoh has the most beautiful view I have ever seen and we got to have a closer look at the lake and mountains that the orphanage overlooks. It was about a mile to the lake which, of course, the kids wanted a hundred pictures of. Then we walked a little further to another side of the lake to THE most beautiful scene i have ever seen. It's one of those moments that a picture just can't capture all of the beauty surrounding you. I just had to take it in and hope that I would never forget it.

Pastor Benson gathered everyone for a group photo. Jessica, Dr. Rick and I did not get the memo that it was just for the orphans, so the new group photo of the Fiwagoh kids will include three Mzungus. 

I stepped in mud in the process, but it made the kids laugh so I just shook it off and decided to worry about it later.

I was walking with Faith (HIV positive) and Victoria. We were towards the end of the group and as we looked ahead, we saw people literally climbing up a mountain, surrounded by sheep and a shepherded. It was something you see in movies about old times, but don't ever imagine seeing in real life. When we got to the top, we saw even a more beautiful view. Pictures will come when I get home because words cannot do it justice. When we got back, Faith and Victoria got down and washed my feet off for me. 

I've gotten really close to so many people of every different age here in such a short amount of time. It amazes me that two weeks ago, I didn't know anyone here. It breaks my heart that a week from now, I won't get to spend every day with these new friends that I have grown to love.

Simple Words Warm My Heart

Fiwagoh Day 6

June 20, 2014

Kids at Fiwagoh LOVE giving visitors letters. However, English is their second language so it's not always perfect. 

I have been called Shelbie, Shelbe, Shelbi, Shellby, and my personal favorite Shabbi, which is exactly how they all pronounce my name. They have made me so happy so I thought I would share a couple excerpts with y'all.

"I love you so much that the tongue cannot express"

"I thank God for the butyfull and goodtime he has given into us... I am very happy and proud but I don't have words to estplane (explain) how happy I am."

"Do you love Jesus? I hope you do love Him."

"I am very thankful for the nice, hot, and wonderful big hugs you give me every night before going to bed and the cool, awesome, and beautiful smiles that you show."

"I don't have many words to say but i love you and I love giving you a smile." 

"I love your warm smiles and merry laughs. You are good. You're my friend. Please read the bible every day. Please reply back"

"I love you so much with an exzidin (exciting) love but God loves you more than I do."

"If we don't meet back here (at Fiwagoh), we shall meet there in heaven and we shall rejoice with The Lord."

Difficult Times Bring Tremendous Rewards

Fiwagoh Day 3

June 17, 2014

In the dentistry waiting room, I got to learn a lot of names and help the kids feel better about going to the dentist for the first time in their life. 

It was hard day. 

I held a lot of hands as these frightened kids got their teeth checked. Many cried and at one point I did too. 

They were not in pain, just afraid. Most of them don't know how to trust someone, so when a strange white person comes up with sharp tools, it terrifies them. 

It started to hit me when I was holding Bonniface's shaky hands in the dentist chair. It really hit me when I had my hand on sweet Joseph's (intellectually disabled and HIV) chest to calm him down when he would not open his mouth one bit because he just did not understand what was happening. 

I quickly learned that it's best not to cry in front of the kids and to put on a smile to make them feel safer and okay.

Fiwagoh Day 4

June 18, 2014

I got promoted from waiting room-entertainer to dental assistant. I wrote down everything the dentist told me to put on the patient's chart, held up a light, and gathered any supplies the dentist needed. 

One little 8-year-old boy named Ian was one of Dr. Rick's patients. Most kids his age are very scared, but Ian sat right down, told the dentist where his tooth hurt, and Dr. Rick preceded to extract his painful tooth. 

Ian squeezed my hand very tightly the whole time. When an anesthetic was put in his mouth, he didn't scream, but he just looked at me and winked. I winked back, and then he started raising his eyebrows at me. This little boy was flirting with me instead of acknowledging that someone was pulling a tooth out of his mouth. Oh my, so so precious.

After evening worship, we got to hear a testimony from three siblings at Fiwagoh. Duncan Sr. (20), (another) Joseph (18), and Frazier (16). It was heart wrenching, but it shows us how wonderful Fiwagoh is and how much greater our God is.

Fiwagoh day 5

June 19, 2014

This was a day filled with more teeth cleaning and loving on kids. 

I've started to get closer to a lot of the kids, which is just going to make it even harder to leave. I've also gotten closer to the older kids. 

There are people all the way up to 22 years old at Fiwagoh, so it's nice to have people my age to hang out and goof around with. The older kids are called "seniors." 

We had a senior night tonight where it was just the seniors and team members. We were going to play games, but instead, they wanted to hear all of our stories. Several people shared and then, naturally, Ryan asked me to share! 

They thought I was hilarious. Some of you may not believe that, but they were crying because they were laughing so hard. Okay, so maybe it wasn't because I was saying anything funny. I am just very bubbly and an energetic person and they aren't use to that here so it cracked them up that I was jumping around, talking with my hands, and just being myself. 

But I finally got to be serious and share my testimony. It was awesome to hear everyone else's as well and also some of the seniors'. It is so humbling and amazing to hear how God works in all of our lives in very different ways.

Jambo

June 15, 2014

Fiwagoh Day One

As we came up to the orphanage around 2, we saw more than a hundred orphans running up to our bus singing their "welcome song." 

I cried. 

If you know me, that's no surprise. I cry all of the time, but this moment was something I had been waiting on for months. I reached my hand out of the window and a sweet boy named Boniface grabbed my hand. We parked the bus and 212 orphans surrounded us, waiting for the Muzungus (White people) to come out and play. 

When I got off the bus, my new friend grabbed my hand and did not let go until hours later. Boniface is 11, but looks like he is 7. 

Two girls named Faith (15) and Evelyn (14) came up to me, too. Later we all went out to this huge field to play! I played and took pictures with Jackie (13) and Gladys (11). Then about 5 girls started "playing" with my hair. We all went back for worship and I promise there is no greater sound than hearing 212 orphans singing to our Savior. 

June 16, 2014

Fiwagoh Day Two

Every year, all of the orphanages in Gilgil, Kenya put on The Day of The African Child where a group of kids from every orphanage march 1.5 miles and then present a song or dance. I was so happy that we got to be here for this day and support 20ish children from Fiwagoh. It was overwhelming to see hundreds of orphans from one small town in Kenya united together. 

When we got back to Fiwagoh, we played with the kids for a couple of hours while the doctors and dentists from our team got ready to to have checkups for all of the kids. This 5-year-old boy named Solomon came up to me and latched to my side for the rest of the day. He is so small and cuddly and just sat in my lap the entire day. He never stopped holding my hand.

Some of the older girls and boys (Faith, Evelyn, Virgina, Jackie, Alvin, and Wilson) opened up to me and told me how they got to Fiwagoh. Some of their parents abandoned them, some parents couldn't afford to feed them, and some parents died. 

The stories broke my heart, but it is wonderful to see how, despite everything they've been through, they are still the happiest kids I've ever seen.

 A majority of the kids have very poor dental hygiene because this was the very first time any of them had ever seen a dentist. It made me realize how much we take things for granted. Most kids were terrified because they had no idea what to expect. 

Molly, Emily, and I taught the kids in the "waiting room" how to properly brush their teeth before they went to see one of our three dentists.

 

The medical team will be doing checkups for the next two weeks, but they started with all of the children with HIV. There are between 10-15 kids with HIV at Fiwagoh. Today, I found out that Boniface was one of them. BUT the doctors and dentists said that they are some of the healthiest HIV children they have seen throughout their trips to Africa. 

Please join me in praying for my team members and new friends for the next two weeks.

Kenya Day 1

June 15, 2014

Traveling is exhausting -- three continents in 30 hours! 

A week ago I had never even been out of the country (unless you count going to Puerto Rico which is a US territory so it's technically not another country). 

I remember a year ago I was pleading with God to let me go to Africa. I so badly wanted to share Christ's love with people across the world and fulfill the great commission. And here I am. Our Father was listening to my prayers and had it planned for me to go on this trip before I was even born. He knew I would cry out to Him for an opportunity like this and so He brought this trip before me. 

I'm currently in Nairobi, Kenya waiting for the rest of my team to wake up (jetlag is real) so that we can eat breakfast and make our way over to the Fiwagoh Mission Orphanage and School. 

I know that The Lord has amazing things planned for us all and I can't wait to see how He uses us to change the lives of the orphans and how He uses the orphans to change our lives as well.

Declares the Lord

Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the Lord. - Jeremiah 1:8

They will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the Lord. -Jeremiah 1:15

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11

Declares the Lord. What a powerful statement! I've read those three words countless time, but I have just recently seen how mighty that phrase is. 

It would be comforting if one of my friends told me not to be afraid, but I would honestly still be a little scared. Now think about hearing that same phrase from the Creator of the Universe. God is saying, "My child, I have created every part of you. I know what makes you sad and what makes you happy. I have this all under control and I will protect you. Do not be afraid because I  am with you and I will be holding your hand through it all. 

Wow.

When God says something, He means it. I find it so comforting to see "declares the Lord" because it gives a whole new meaning to what is being said. It really does make a difference that the Lord Almighty is saying these things to us. So next time you see "declares the Lord," make sure to take note of what God is trying to tell you.

In Christ,

Shelby